Rodger Tribute

We adopted a dog from our local rescue centre at the beginning of July 2012. Rodger. Here are some words and pictures I kept during having him ..

Rodger is a crossbreed GSD x Lurcher. He is 12 and half yrs, a beautiful old boy, so placid and affectionate. He is very chilled out most of the time, but he has plenty of life in him.

He's been with us almost 4 months and we bond more and more as time goes by. He didn't bark for the first 2 months (now he does, but only barks a couple of times if there is someone approaching the property), and we had to do alot of his basic training. But he's done great and fitted into our little family perfectly. He was very underweight when we got him, but not now!

November 2012

Rodger was up in the early hours yesterday morning being sick. He didn't get visably better until late afternoon. He was shivering and couldn't sit still, he kept moving where he was lying. He has been like this once before with us. He must be made of strong stuff because again, he bounced back within 12 hours. I made him a light meal of mashed potatoes and sardines, which he loved, and kept down.

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This past week has been hectic to say the least. Rodger's nervous behaviour has slowly been getting worse, and it hit a peak last week when he was so petrified he was trying to get under the bed covers with us (up until a week or so ago he had never even been on the bed), hiding under the bed, under our legs, trying to sit on top of us, shaking, .. all things we have never seen before in him. He has also had a bad stomach and I think nerves were to blame there too.

Yes, he's always been a nervous dog, but we have not been sleeping, he paces and wants petted all night, and things just seem to be getting worse since he witnessed the firework on the field. We took him to the vet and he has gone back on his anti-anxiety meds. He has failing sight and blind spots in both eyes which adds to the fear of course. Poor wee pup!

So, he has calmed alot since on the meds - still keeping us up at night, and pulling to get home when we walk him, .. but he's not in such distress.

Here he is watching TV on the sofa with me ..

December 2012

We've had a dusting of snow over the past few days, and lots of ice. Rodger loves the snow! I didn't manage to get any action shots, but he was charging around the field where we walk, opposite our house, .. happy chappie. Sleeping now, of course.

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Christmas 2012

Rodger was a little unwell 2 days ago, but by Christmas morning he was back to his old cheeky self. His pile of gifts was as big as each of ours, and he even got things from people who don't normally give gifts to 'us'.

He wagged his tail and poked his nose into the paper, showing much interest. He even played with the toys (he's not much of a toy lover) he got. He got lots of fancy meaty treats too.

He is sleeping now with a full belly (chicken, roast potatoes, dog gravy) .. I suspect he has had a lovely day.

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29th December 2012

We have had a bit of a tough week, and later yesterday afternoon, sweet Rodger was put to sleep. We had to visit the emergancy vet the night before this, after him not being himself all day, and he went downhill fast from then.

I can't say the decision was hard for us to make, even though the vet did offer options of trying other medications, we just knew that it was right to let him go. The vet agreed with our decision.

He has always had what we would call 'senior moments' of staring into the corners of the room blankly, and bumping into things, .. but he had always enjoyed his life with us along with this. He LOVED his cuddles. It was unheard of for him not to be in a room with us. He was with us 24/7 for almost 6 months apart from an hour or 2 a few times per week when we would run errands or visit someone. He was so loved, and we were a little team. He really made us a family.

The past few months, he was having more and more symptoms of 'Doggy Dementia', which was not helped by rapid decline of his senses, and already underlying anxiety issues. It had become normal for us not to sleep through the night, and for him to pace up and down, scratching at the wardrobe thinking it was the door (trying to get out), trying to get in bed with us (while or while not panicking), needing out to the toilet every hour in the night.

BUT, he still loved his cuddles, he was always excited to see us, loved pestering us for treats, loved his food (and he was often dining on fresh chicken, or sardines, or some ham - only the best for my little Prince!), and he would enjoy running on his long walks with us .. (although he had become less interested in his walks).

The past couple of weeks he was even less up for his walks, and the nights had become really bad. BUT, he loved his cuddles, and treats, food, sniffing around the garden.

Christmas Eve he began to get more confused and panicky than normal, not knowing where he was or who we were at times. Christmas day was a bit of a miricle day as he enjoyed the day with us, in a more subdued that usual way (I believe he was holding on for Xmas, for me), and then Boxing day onward he declined ..

Chronic shaking and panting, not recognising us, no interest in affection, no interest in walking. We took him to the vet, and she told us physically he didn't seem to be in pain, and all she could give us was another sedative to try (and if his state kept declining further, then the inevitable). This didn't seem to make a difference that night as he paced non-stop confused and extremely distressed.

On Friday morning he still did not know who we were, didn't seem to know where he was, he was walking into the wall, scratching in random places of the room trying to get out, refusing to leave the house (he didn't do the toilet all day). I had decided to call the vet that afternoon and say I would see how he was over the weekend, but I felt his time had come. But by the afternoon he had gone downhill further and in his own way was telling me he just wanted to go.

I gave him some bits of fish by hand but he didn't really eat, he looked at his food and water bowls blankly now, unable to eat or drink, like he had forgotton how. He kept walking a few steps then thud down sitting, like his back legs were giving up. All the time, unfamiliar of his surroundings and us. Shaking and confused. Then he just lay down and waited.

We took him in that afternoon. He had refused to go down our path at very attempt during the day, until H pulled the car up on the road, and he walked straight to the car no trouble and lay with me in the back (he is never that calm in the car) .. like he knew. He was just so dignified.

We were with him at the end, all 3 of us on the floor with him on a blanket. I was upset, and had the option of not being present, but could never abandon him as he spent his whole 6 months with us clinging to me in fear of being dumped again. I had to be there, for him. I tried to have a 'moment' before-hand, but he was so gone I looked into his eyes and there was nothing. I knew it was the right thing for him. He was willing, wanting to go. I knew he had had enough, and didn't want 'fixed' with more trial and error.

I was sobbing on and off all day long. We had very little sleep, and it had been so stressful, and upsetting. H broke down afterward. We were devastated, and in shock that it had all come like this. We went with the flow and here we were. I cried myself to sleep last night.

We both slept well, but still have heavy hearts of course. He is everywhere, his things, his pictures, his hairs! We miss him so much it is heartbreaking. Today I was getting the dirty clothes from the basket and into the washing machine and I felt him under my feet getting in the way, .. I nearly had a moan at him! H has told me he feels him in the kitchen too. That makes me feel better too. He is still part of our family. He will always be our dog.